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February 16, 2015 / hbrowne4

Valentine’s Tale


Love is teasin’
And love is pleasin’
And love is a treasure when first it is new.
But as love grows older
Sure love grows colder,
And it fades away like the morning dew.

Jaysus woman, how could you do this to me on this day of all days. I’ve booked the honeymoon suite in the Faithlegg Hotel with a violinist to serenade us at dinner, a Swedish masseur and a monster box of chocolates waiting in the room together with a magnum of champagne. And you’ve got a nose on because I didn’t get a card? Will you get real?

So, tell me, who is it? Don’t insult my intelligence by giving me the guff about you needing your space. I’ve heard that one before!

What? You’re going to America with my brother? Jeez, not only are you a heart breaker but you are a family wrecker to boot. He’s my only living relative and not satisfied with grabbing half the house, the bank balance and taking the fucking cat you top it all off by stealing my sole living sibling. That’s cold woman, arctic in fact.

Oh, you’re leaving the dog, are you? Big deal, he’s the laziest, smelliest, ugliest mutt in the world and to add insult to injury it was your old dragon mother who gave him to us. Thanks but no thanks, it’s the cats and dogs home for him the minute you’re out the door.

Speaking of doors, don’t let it hit you on the arse on the way out!


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