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June 2, 2015 / hbrowne4

Broccoli House

Broccoli House

Paddy was, to say the least, quite confused. He was standing one minute on O’Connell Street minding his own business when suddenly everything went black, just for a second. Next thing he knew he was confronted by a completely different scene.

The spire lay, a twisted wreck sprawled on top of the smouldering remains of the GPO and Clerys was a pile of shattered masonry while all around the scene of devastation continued as far as the eye could see.

As he stood there mouth agape a man came scurrying by. “You best shut yer trap and get in outta the sun, mister” the passer by said in a hoarse whisper.

“What’s going on” pleaded Paddy. “What happened?”

“Ah no, not another one” moaned the man “You’re one of them time travellers aren’t you? You just appeared here outta nowhere didn’t you? Come with me. We need to get under cover or they’ll snatch us up”

Grabbing Paddy by the arm he dragged him down the devastated Talbot street and dodged into the shattered remains of Guineys store. Paddy found himself being dragged headlong down to the Stygian depths of the basement level.

“What’s going on” He demanded.

“Shh” cautioned his companion “You need to be very quiet, they have very keen hearing you know”

Digging his heels in Paddy snarled “No I don’t know, I don’t know anything. Where are we and who are “they” when they’re at home?”

“It’s the Leprechauns don’t you know. They’ve risen up and taken over. They live above ground now in little tree houses built on florets of broccoli. They don’t have any use for us big people so they hunt us for the craic. If they catch us they skin us and use our pelts for clothing. Apparently the height of fashion for their little women is a human skin coat, preferably draped to ground level. It doesn’t have to be a very big human skin as their women are really really small”

“Back in the year 2015 they got sick and tired of lurking about underground and worrying about their crocks of Gold. Apparently they had to keep moving them every couple of weeks because the greedy developers were digging up every acre of land to build more useless monstrosities, so the little people rose up an whacked the whole lot of us. That’s when the time slips started”

As he spoke there was a scratching noise and a spark lit up his grimy face. “There’s only one thing we can do” he said, sketching a large screw like device in the air in front of Paddy “We need an awl” he said “We need to dig a tunnel and delve ourselves deep underground it’s quite simple really”

“An awl” said a puzzled Paddy “What’s an awl?”


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