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October 24, 2016 / hbrowne4

The Old Tee Shirt

botticelli-primavera

The three Graces by Sandro Botticelli

“Shit” said Sandro Botticelli “I’ve split paint all over my surcoat. What’ll I do now, I’m supposed to meet Catherine de Medici for lunch and that’s the only decent stitch of clothes I’ve got. Oh look there an old tee shirt in this pile of paint rags in the corner. It’s a bit paint splashed but she’s aged and decrepit, she’ll think it’s been tie dyed” and he hurriedly washed his face and donning the shirt he rushed down the stairs, taking them three at a time. “It’s not wise to keep the Medicis waiting” he mused.

As he dashed out the door at the foot of the stairs he crashed into Catherine’s brother Prince Lorenzo and knocked him sprawling with the prince going one way and his staff going the other.

“God’s blood” Roared the monarch who was suffering the torments of the damned from an attack of gout, brought on, as everybody knows by overindulgence in the good things of life, wine, food and general overindulgences.

His extensive retinue rushed to his aid and propped the agonised monarch up as he glared at the hapless painter. “You clumsy oaf” He screamed “How dare you charge about like a wild bullock, knocking law abiding folk off their feet in the street”

As Sandro stammered out a garbled apology and excuse for his inexcusable behaviour the outraged prince turned to his men at arms and proclaimed “Take this harlequin away and throw him into the lowest level of the dungeons, I’ll deal with him later, just now I have a lunch appointment with my sister Catherine”

As the men at arms dragged him off to the dungeons Sandro was heard to plead “Lad’s lads, it’s not my fault. I had an accident in my studio and I had to change my clothes so I was late for my appointment with The Lady Catherine myself”

“Be quiet” Snarled the Sergeant at arms, giving him a dig in the ribs with his quarterstaff “There’s no use crying over split paint”

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