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06/08/2019 / Harry Browne

I Shouldn’t Have Eaten It! by Angelina Kelly

“Eat it” … they said, …“It will be good for you” … they said.
“It has vitamins, minerals, proteins and even trace elements, so your body and mind, and even your soul, will benefit” … they said.
Ah! But, I knew otherwise, tofurkey has always been the undoing of me.
Once in my mouth I feel my stomach object, before I’ve even swallowed it. Then, when it gets to the stomach … the trouble starts.
Oh no! – here we go! The rocking … the rolling … the tumultuous waves, like a stormy sea.
Heave ho! Heave ho!, the song of the pirates resonates in my head.
And then … “the fun” begins, when it reaches … “the lower deck”.
Oh God! Oh God! I’m … “a lady” … so I’m not going to describe what happens next. Anyone with a bit of imagination can guess.
“The storm” rages on for a while longer and I wonder what will happen when I go … “overboard”.
Will it be quick and painless? Will I float for a long time with no help or rescue?”
Will I freeze to death hanging on to a loose floating door … like that guy in the Titanic movie?
O God! … Oh God! … Someone make it stop!!!
Just when I think I sunk … and about to draw my last breath, … an angel taps me on the shoulder, hands me a cup of clear liquid and bids me -“Drink”.
With shaking hands I take it and sip it … it seems Ok! … My insides aren’t objecting or boiling. So … I sip some more.
Oh! Wait! … is that relief? … Do I feel “the storm” abating! … Is the sea getting calm?
Ah! Yes! … There it is! … The relief I was looking for!
Slowly everything settles and I can breath again. I seem to be alive … so that means I have survived.
With shaking legs I move to my trustee place of rest. Take a deep breath and … as I sink into gentle, restorative oblivion … I exclaim:
I shouldn’t have eaten it!

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